Enough with the honking people

Surprisingly, very few things have annoyed me about this city thus far. I honestly can't think of one singular thing that has brought me chagrin every single day, except ... people unnecessarily honking their horns.

I bet the average Chicagoan hears at least a dozen horn honks a day. Some are succinct, such as a cabbie peppering his horn to grab the attention of a potential customer. Some are cautionary, like a bus driver letting a cyclist know of their swift, massive presence. And some are completely idiotic, like the people who lay on the horn at an intersection where somebody crossing the street in front of them had mis-judged the length of their green light and wound up stuck with their ass end partially blocking a lane of perpendicular traffic for the entire time it takes the light to change. These people are the worst.

Honking is like capital punishment: It doesn't work as a preventative tool. Yes, people who get ambitious and try to sneak through a yellow light and wind up getting blocking traffic are annoying. And they deserve to be honked at, if for no other reason that to let them know they fucked up. But to hold a sustained honk for 10-15 seconds is obnoxious and does not an ounce of good. Will the person blocking the intersection forever vow to never attempt squeaking through a congested intersection again? Probably not. Will your sustained honk peeve everybody within a 50-foot radius and wind up making you look like the jerk of the situation? That’s very likely.

A little advice to you drivers of Chicago: For starters, to the cabbies, when we’re looking for you, we usually see you. No need for the heads up toot. To the sustained-honking pricks: just stop. To the bus drivers: sometimes you guys sneak up on us, so in the instances you don’t think we see you, honk away.

These measures could make walking downtown 30-40 percent less annoying.